Here it is once again, every working mans holiday Woo Hoooo!!! Oh, come on must I always be PC I sure as heck hope not. I hope by now you people have figured out that I just don’t care about being politically correct, if you haven’t I’ll try and break it to you gently, but only if I must.
This is the only holiday that has the working masses in mind, the day for every hard working American, no matter what you want to insist on being called. Sure some of us are still out there holding down the fort keeping things running smoothly, while others are out basking in the last official holiday of summer. You don’t think that they wanted us to be happy that summer is over, and that fall is just around the corner, and the next holiday isn’t for a couple of months? Our vacations are no doubt over, the kids are looking forward to going back to school, well okay maybe they’re not really looking forward to that, but I know you parents are.
You know I was thinking today about this thing called Labor Day, and trying to figure out just where all of this was going to take me when something came to my attention about this day. It seems to me that this is the last holiday that has an official three-day weekend; you know not just luck of the calendar kind of weekend. You don’t think it was a conspiracy type thing, you know if you get a three day weekend you’ll be able to finish up all the projects you started but put off all summer long because it was either too hot, or it was raining, or you just had something more fun to do than putting up that fence, or landscaping the yard? Was that a drip from the ceiling?
There is no end to the home improvement sales that begin just before and end on Labor Day. They promise you that they have everything for your last minute projects and the answers to help you finish those projects that you haven’t finished. Now I’m not sure but I think they have a hidden meaning in those advertisements. You don’t think that these home improvement places have had a look in our backyards or been peeking in our windows at night while we are sleeping? At any rate the sales are out there trying to get you to work on Labor Day weekend. The nerve of these people, don’t they realize that it is our last three-day weekend of the year? From the looks of all of the activity on Friday and Saturday of this weekend at these stores it has worked. I for one think that we should just say no to working on this last holiday of summer, this last weekend to get the friends together and break out the grill throw a few burgers or steaks on it, gather around the party table, and discuss the issues. Some fresh corn on the cob, watermelon, five different types of salads, hmm sorry my mind wandered there for a minute or two. If you think that people are looking at you strangely and wondering what is wrong with you, go into a place like KFC or Popeye’s and order four ears of corn on the cob and nothing else. The look of confusion on the face of the person behind the counter is priceless, the questions that come out of their mouths is predictable and annoying to say the least. “Would you like anything else”, “Are you sure that this is all that you want”. I would guess that after the first question they’d get it, considering that if you had wanted anything else you would have been sure to tell them before you asked for four side dishes. Doesn’t it go to figure that that when you are ordering you order the main dish before your sides? I mean you don’t go to a restaurant and order your meal by telling the wait staff that you want a baked potato and the veggies before telling them that you want the chicken or the fish or the steak or do you? I guess I really shouldn’t assume because you never can tell, but then again I bet you think I might, if you know and I know that there just might be one or two of you out there that just might, you would be wrong. Now where was I before I got side tracked? Oh, I know you’re all used to it by now, but I’m trying not to lose any of you, honest, all right you caught me.
Now where was I before I was so rudely interrupted, home improvement sale’s, that’s right. I can’t be sure if you understand what these people are trying to do us. Of course they want our money how else can they show a profit for the year and expand into new markets, driving the cost of improving your home. I think they just like to keep us feeling bad about what our homes look like so they can sell us stuff whenever they want to and now when summer is just about over they want us to work. I say to you revolt, I say to you don’t take it with a hammer in your hand no, I say do like the rest of the human race has done for thousands of years. I say to you send a message to the home improvement stores, this is the last three day holiday of the year, the last holiday of summer, the last hurrah if you will. Call up your friends, family and neighbors and invite them to your backyard show off the patio that you finally finished this summer for the last time. Tell these stores that this day is about not working because it’s the working mans holiday.
End of the summer bashes have been happening forever in one form or another, it just didn’t have a three-day holiday. You could have a look at any culture you’d like, well as far back as culture and civilizations go. Wasn’t it the cave man that held the first barbecue and no doubt it was shortly after he discovered how to make fire… or did he just wait for a lightening storm to set the forest on fire? You don’t suppose he just stumbled on fire by dropping a one piece of rock on another piece of rock causing a spark and there happened to be a pile of grass or maybe some sort of a kindling, and bam there was fire, I guess anything is possible. Now that there was fire I can only guess as to how they figured out that by tossing meat onto it, it would make it taste better. I guess there could have been some sort of argument and a leg of brontosaurs landed on the fire that they were now using to keep themselves warm on the cold nights, and by the time they realized what had happened the leg-o-bronto was cooked. Being hungry they ate it anyway and to their surprise it tasted better so much better than it did when it was raw. This is the humble beginning of the barbecue, and soon it would become that end of summer beginning of fall tradition: The end of summer bash.
Just when did man realize the need to store up food for the winter is anyone’s guess, but taking that into consideration, once man began to store his food he also realized what would and would not last through the winter. Now we know that there are end of harvest celebrations, which can be traced back to beginning of time as well. What we have yet to discover until now, that Labor Day has also been celebrated in one form or another. Yes, it would seem that this end of summer cookout also included those that were supposed to be working. Of course you realize that someone has to do the work that it takes to cook this end of summer bash, but they were still included in the end result. It would actually take the summer to prepare for this bash, you know build the barbecue pits; make sure there were enough place for everyone to sit around the fires. They also needed to be sure that there would be plenty to drink for those that would come for this bash as well. Working through out the summer months in their spare time these people built the fire pits cleared the area needed to have the family over. They kept up with what they needed to do through out the week hunting gathering and making the weapons that would protect their family in case of a rival clan attack. They would still have to build the shelter needed to keep the family warm during the coming winter collecting enough wood for the fires that would keep them warm as well. For those that were nomadic they would need to repair such items as their packs and blankets and the other tools they used to help carry their belongings to their winter homes. When the end of summer was upon them all they would take the time off for the end of summer bash. The next day they would pick up their tools and again work to support their family. Those nomadic clans would pack their belongings and begin the trek that would lead them to their winter homes.
Okay, so maybe it is all a stretch, and just a bit of flight of fancy but here we are and its Labor Day a three day weekend given to us by our government a time that is for us as the laborers of this country to have a final day at the end of summer to sit back and look about our homes, our children, our family and friends. A day to be spent in celebration and not labor I mean after all it is Labor Day and not just another manic Monday.
So to you my family and friends tell the home improvement stores that you have already finished your projects for the summer and you just care to start another one, they can wait until next spring and summer. Now grab that grill break out the steaks ice down the beverages make up the varieties of salads, invite the family and friends over and have one final barbecue of summer. Come Monday when all you ever seem to do is work, relax sleep in, eat a late breakfast, shower in the afternoon instead of the morning, put of shaving for just one more day, read the paper with your feet on the coffee table turn the television on to some movie channel and see what is on. Then again if your more the in motion type and you know who you are, get up early grab the bicycle, hiking shoes, climbing gear, fishing pole, canoe, raft, kayak, inner tube, golf clubs, or whatever you want and see where it will take you. Just remember that this weekend is for us the working class the laborers of this nation. Remember to raise up your glass and offer a toast to those of us that are out here still working on this Labor Day weekend holding down the fort, then raise up and give another toast for those that came before us that made our government give to us this final three day weekend of summer. When it’s all over roll out the back to school stuff because your children go back to school on Tuesday … good luck to you there. And finally I want each and every one of you out there to tell the home improvement people in no uncertain terms NO we’re not going to spend this day fixing anything that has nothing to do with our end of summer bash.