Category Archives: St Patricks Day

Kiss My What???

You can bet your lucky shamrocks and even your unlucky ones too that there are more people that claim to have the blood of the isle running in their veins on this day than any other. One could possibly even make the connection that there are more Irish on St Patrick’s Day than were ever born or to anyone ever born in Ireland. I know it’s going to be very hard to prove that one. Then again my job is not to prove my hypothesis it is only to suggest that it is possible. Who do you think I am anyway, a global warming… I mean climate change scientist. Wait I think the science of one is just as questionable as the other, hmmm I guess maybe I could be one after all. There was a time when I would be all over this day with the green beer and wearing green. What changed you ask, well okay maybe you didn’t ask and maybe you don’t care. Don’t get me wrong I still partake as they like to say, but I don’t get as excited about such things. Perhaps it is all the time I spent behind a bar watching people have their fun while I was stuck where I was. Then again maybe it’s just age … NAH it can’t be that.
There is a lot that can be said about St. Patrick and the reason we have this day set aside to celebrate the snakes, the shamrock, the holy trinity the Blarney stone, those little green leprechauns, the list is endless. No matter all the reasons that there are and all the reasons that we do or don’t remember we are still going to put on a little green and pretend that we are Irish. Those that aren’t Irish will be pretending anyway, after all those that are Irish there is no need to pretend. Whether or not you are born with Irish blood coursing through you veins or you are just bitten by the bug once a year is not my concern. I seriously doubt that anyone really cares which it is on this day. It certainly doesn’t matter to the bartender I know for a fact that they could really give to rats butts whether you are or aren’t all they care about is what you are drinking, whether or not you’re going to pay, if you are going to cause them trouble, and if you’re going to leave a tip. If they tell you any different there is a good possibility that they aren’t being totally honest with you. If by chance they are being honest with you then they must be your best friends or they want something from you.
There will be a chance on this day to find your inner Irish. No I don’t mean the one that drinks the most pints green beer or eats the most corned beef and cabbage. I mean that today you have the opportunity to indulge yourself into some of the great things that are from the Emerald Isle. For some the green beer and corned beef and cabbage are about as far as you will go. They however, will be the ones that will always be chasing their inner Irish they may think they will have found it just about the time the tavern closes. They will be in fact just another drunk running around in a green hat with a button that says ‘kiss me I’m Irish’ and yelling woooo every time someone says show me yer bra … I mean Erin Go Bragh. You can spot the ones that actually do find it they will be the ones with their heads held high (as high as they can lift them anyway) with a stern look and a satisfied grin on their faces as they stroll about. If you listen carefully when they pass by you can almost hear them humming Danny Boy or some such other song that gives you a feeling of it all as they go to kiss the blarney stone.
Then again it all comes down to this doesn’t it; a spring day and green. If anyone knows about green I guess it would be the Irish. After all they don’t call it the Emerald isle for nothing. St. Patrick may have not been the best pick as a patron saint for the whole country. Perhaps Arthur Guinness, John Jameson or even Sir Thomas Phillips would have been a better name for the patron saint of Ireland. Even though these men came along long after St Patrick lived. Who are these highly distinguished men that they should be such a thing? I will get back to them a bit. Then again there are many men and other things that could bring us all to want to be Irish if only just for the day. No matter what you think of them they certainly have taken this country bit by bit police station by police station crappy job by crappy job. There was a time when you tried to hide your heritage if you were, you know one, of those. But even then there was St Patrick’s Day to celebrate though perhaps it was not quite as public or as accepted as it is now. Still you honored the Saint that brought Christianity to your home land and drove the snakes from Ireland. Now that this day is more accepted, just have a look around if you think otherwise, everyone wants to be Irish. Thankfully even those that are not are accepted and welcomed to the day when the whole world wants to be Irish.
Maybe the credit could all be given to those three men I mentioned earlier as possible replacements as the Patron Saint of Ireland. Certainly Arthur Guinness, the founder of Guinness Beer and John Jameson, the founder of Jameson’s Irish Whisky and Sir Thomas Phillips, the founder of Bushmills Irish Whisky (the oldest licensed distillery in the world) had just as much to do with St. Patrick’s Day being what it is today as Patrick himself. Just where would this day be without them? No one would be hearing about ‘Ireland forever’ or asking Erin to show her bra that’s for sure, at least not as many.
So to you my friends and family and family of friends I give you St. Patrick’s Day in all its green glory. Here is where I usually tell you to embrace the day and all it holds and to be sure to fill your glass with your favorite beverage and offer up a toast to all things Irish. Since I am fairly sure you are already or at least that is the plan I will spare you that part. However I will say this; May you take a bit of the Irish with you as you travel, may God bless you and all that enter your homes, may the road rise up to greet you, may they not always be after your lucky charms, may you live long and have a happy life filled with love and in the end may you be in heaven at least a half hour before the devil knows you’re dead. As for me my mug and shot glass are full and awaiting my attention so if you’ll excuse me.

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