Fathers Day

Fathers, what can anyone say about them that would be different that wouldn’t get us in trouble?

If not for the fathers, if not for the fathers where would we be? Would we be as we are? Would we be different? Would we be better? Would we be worse? Some believe that but for the Fathers we would not be as we are. Is it their wisdom that we rely on or is it the memory of the backhand that we received from him that makes us who we are. In many cases it could go either way. My mother always told me that any man could be a Daddy but to be a Father it took a special kind of man. I never really understood what she was trying to tell me all those years ago whenever I wondered where my Father was and sometimes I wonder if today I have any better understanding of those words. Even in my own struggles to find out who I was or who I am, why am I here, what the hell am I meant to be if I can’t… well you get the idea. I wonder if I would be any better or worse having been raised by Daddy well I got a pretty good idea when I got older, but in the long run can I really be sure. I have mentioned that I was blessed with two Father figures in my life and I will repeat that to whoever might ask about it. I am not ashamed to say that I am the product of a broken home no on the contrary in some ways I think I was honored by it. Okay maybe honored isn’t the best word I could use here but then again maybe it is.

My Daddy and my Mother were divorced by the time I was born or shortly there after depending on who you talk to. Either way my brother and I were minus one Daddy. I was raised in a very loving family household made up of my Grandmother, Grandfather, Mother and brother. Okay, you’re calling me on it, I know what you are saying how much of a loving family can it be when there is a sibling involved I mean really, no really someone tell me please! It seems to me that any man can be a Father it just depends on when in their life they want to be if they ever want to be. There are as many ways to be a Father as there are ways to be a son or daughter and only one way to be a Daddy. It comes to me often in my sleep, that it is dependent on what we feel about our Fathers as to whether or not they are a good father. Then again I may be the one that needs the lesson. Oh yeah there is a chance that I can type a phrase of paragraph extolling how to be the best parent but what do I really know about being a Father any way. Hmmm sure hit me when I am down. I will admit and do so freely to all who ask I have no children, so I would guess I am not the best person to ask these questions to. Then again I was a bartender for a quite a few years and with what you go through there you are qualified for many professions after that. Okay so the night I was supposedly engaged to six different girls in the same night would only qualify a person for the asylum. What does that have to do with being a father? You don’t expect me to tell you do you?

It occurs to me that when we are younger we cling to anyone that impresses us. We look up to them perhaps far more than is in our best interest. I would like to think that it matters little who the person is that take you under their wing or offers you guidance in your life but I know that it is best when it comes from your father. Mothers are the push over in the family. When father speaks its law when mom speaks its well law too but with loop holes. Chances are your father is not going to give in, when he tells you you’re gonna get your ass beat you can bet its gonna happen. If your father tells you that you’re not going to be able to go fishing for example chances are you wont be going fishing. I am sure you get the point there. Nothing that I can tell you is going to change those memories.

In any case I want to tell you fathers out there a little something about the children that look up to you. What am I doing, giving away secrets such as that? No it’s no secret that your children look up to you and they do listen to what you say. They may not show it or even acknowledge your existence. But , they will someday remember what you tried to show them. That is of course if you tried to show them anything at all. What do you say we have a little fun here? I am way overtaxing my brain with all of this heavy stuff.

It’s your day Fathers of the world, put your feet up, grabbed the TV remote, make sure your beverage is cold, because today is the day we are suppose to honor our fathers. Or so it was decreed in 1966. But, I am just thinking that maybe President Johnson was just not getting enough attention from his children and who’s to say perhaps Linda Byrd ? Who could blame her for not paying attention after being named that. Either way here we are on Father’s Day. For all the little things you do or try to do because hey, not everything turns out the way we want them to. Take a look at me for example, oh no wait bad example, or is that my point. Does a father really get over that first case of nerves he acquired when his first child was thrust in front of him? All the worries of bumped heads, skinned knees, major cuts, broken bones, crooked teeth, and heaven forbids major medical problems. You don’t even want to begin to think about sports, educational opportunities, first dates, you know there was another reason you bought that shot gun. Prom night, broken hearts, weddings, not quite last and definitely not least college tuition. How many times in that split second does a father think about these things. You don’t suppose it just enters into your mind and never leaves.

Then there is the ghastly thought of what the hell was I thinking? A little wine, a little gin, a little fun and now a lifetime of problems. What, do you really think that a father ever really thought of this stuff before he found out he was going to be a father. Okay maybe a couple fathers did, but hey cut me a little slack; after all I am a product of a mistake. Okay, maybe not quite a full-fledged mistake, but you know how it is six of one and half a dozen of another it is all the same. It doesn’t really matter now anyway the deed has been done. All and all today was meant to be your day oh ye fathers of the world. So sit back in you chair with your feet up and your cold beverages. Make sure the TV is tuned to the channel of your desecration and when the old lady, err I mean your adoring spouse that gave birth to those wonderful caring thoughtful children that never give you a moment of worry or problems, peaks her head in the room and says ‘hey, why don’t you go out and break out the grill and we will have a cookout.’ Remind her that’s what you did for Mother’s Day and last years Father’s Day. You have no choice but to tell her, why don’t you, break out the grill and just let me watch my fishing, hunting, golf, sports, woodworking, home improvement, old movie channel, or whatever it is that you want to watch, and let me for once do what I want to do. After all it is Father’s Day not Father Do Day, not Father Why Don’t We Day or Father Let’s Do This Day. Okay maybe you don’t have to make it sound so harsh but after all sometimes da mans gotta do what da mans gotta do right. Oh just make sure you keep an eye out for that big cast iron frying pan that she asked you to buy but never seems to use. There is a small chance that if you say it like that you will find out just what it was that she wanted you to buy it for. It would be a good thing too if for once all your children could come by on the same day and not ask for money, ask you to watch the grand kids, ask to borrow the car, and for darn sure make sure that they don’t fight over you. Yeah I know that’ll be the day they fight over you. Unless of course it they are fighting over who is going to a take you next or who is going to break the news that you are headed for the home. Oh for the days when they depended on you for everything they needed. Those were the days huh pops well remember those days when they are young and train them that a tie is not what you give for fathers day especially if you never wear a tie? What’s up with that anyway?

Father oh father

You are our strength when are in need
You are our knight in shining armor
You are the one that lifts us up when we have fallen
You are the one we look to when in need
In your eyes we find our strength
In your eyes we find our armor
In your eyes we find our way up
In your eyes we find our necessity

So to you my friends and family I remind you of Father’s Day. The day giving to those that have nothing but worries from the second that they find out about us. Be kind to the old fart, I mean the old man because one day we will achieve his age and will be wanting to do the same thing he is doing. All though we are making him feel really old as our children are running around us. So hurry up and offer up a toast to him before he forgets that he even has children let alone grandchildren. Remind him that if it was not for him chances are you would not be you.