Tag Archives: Christmas

W. M. Stahl

Some time ago a little girl named Virginia once asked a question of a newspaper because her father told her that if it was in the paper it had to be true. Yeah, don’t get me started on that issue today. The question, as many of you may know or even remember from the movies, that was asked is if Santa Claus was indeed real. One could argue both sides to that issue, and as you would guess both sides have valid arguments. We are taught to believe in the bearded man at a very early age, pretty much from the time of our birth; hard to believe I know but yeah it’s true. We are taught over and over again that on Christmas eve a bearded red suited man travels the world leaving presents for children, but only the ones that have been good all year. Which as we are not told is pure crap, I mean one of the reasons he is able to travel the whole world in one night. I mean the logistics of that alone are mind boggling. Although I imagine that Santa would have the most up to date technology in the logistics field. More than, that I am sure there would be thousands of places where they, Santa and his helpers, would pre- load and place filled sacks of toys around the world. Then of course there is the supposed idea that the whole world in fact does not celebrate this Christmas thing. While in theory I am sure that this is, well, in fact true. After all we know there are places in the world that know nothing about this holiday, the reason it is important and certainly have never heard of our man in question. Hard to believe maybe, but true just the same. Once you get that settled in we then have to take into consideration that some don’t even celebrate Christmas on the same day. I have mentioned this in at least one previous essay on this subject; that’s right an entirely different day, again hard to believe. Now I know the question you are asking, that is unless you already know. The rest of you are like, hey what the stocking full of double coal are you talking about? Let me tell you, I am talking about the twelve days of Christmas. That’s right as in the long beloved and probably just as hated twelve days of Christmas song. I am not saying that Santa has twelve days to complete his round of the Christmas celebrating round the world. No that would be wrong and while I would love to joke about such things, and sometimes do, I am not going to do that here, because here I try to give you; at least some truths. I know many of you believe that those twelve days begin before the holiday and often think that it must be Hanukkah a noble holiday that the Jewish people celebrate. You’d be wrong of course but thanks for playing. That is a celebration for something entirely different and not something that actually goes along with the reasons there is a Christmas. Don’t get me wrong it is a lovely holiday with its reasons and traditions that go back long before the birth of Christ and certainly long before that fat man suited up for his first trip with presents. We all know too that it was many years from that first time Santa delivered those first presents before he had to go around the world. That’s why I believe that he is the logistical genius he is today. What’s my point? I’ll tell you what it is in a second, times up. We all know that most of celebrate Christmas on the twenty-fifth of December each and every year since, well I don’t know if we really do know that part. Perhaps I will find that out for next year. I am getting there I promise. That is the first day of Christmas, and it makes complete sense considering that it is the day we say that Christ was born, pretty easy so far right? But how many of us know when the day of Epiphany is? I know when that is, you see it’s twelve days later. Yes the twelfth day of Christmas is the day of Epiphany. What does this have to do with the fact that Santa isn’t delivering presents to everyone on Christmas eve? Well that’s because there are other parts of the world that celebrate Christmas on January seventh the day after the twelfth day of Christmas. It’s a lot to take in I know but I have faith in you. I am not going to go on and on about the Epiphany or the days it is or isn’t celebrated because we know humans have a way of screwing with stuff. Whew, that was a long way to get to this point wasn’t it, yet here we are just the same.

With that fact under our hats we can now move on. What else do we know about “the trip”. How about, not every house has children, that along with not everyone celebrating kind of brings down the number of stops the fat man has to make, right? Let’s not forget that in those child filled houses not all of them are on the nice list, and not all of those are young enough to, well, still believe in the fat man. After all why would he stop at a house if no one believed in him, right? Further cutting his stop to time ratio. Looking better now isn’t it? Now let’s consider other factors, like what the child in the house wants and whether or not Santa can even make that child’s wish for Christmas come true. Because, we all know that there are somethings even Santa can’t do. Don’t make list them, I won’t so don’t even try. You see with each thing we see how it becomes easier for our man to make his trip twice a year. Did I just say twice a year, yes I did say that didn’t I. Since I have already told you why I don’t have to go into it again.

When I was among those that still believed in Santa and even a few years after that Santa still managed to drop something “down the chimney” for me. When I was young on Christmas eve there were the standard wrapped presents under the tree from family member to family member, you know the everyday Christmas stuff. On Christmas morning, however after Santa had come, there were all the presents that he had brought us for being good. None of these gifts were wrapped of course, because with all the things Santa had to give out, well there just wasn’t enough wrapping paper to be had in the North Pole, or enough time to wrap to them. I don’t know where Santa finds the time, money or energy to wrap them today as I haven’t seen unwrapped Santa gifts in a long long time. It would be much easier and cheaper for Santa to go back to not wrapping his gifts, might even give him more time in the year to make those gifts. But, what do I know. I am now trying to figure out where I was going with this. You too? Well I never said it was easy to figure me out. Anyway, until it figure that all out I’ll just take it where I kind of left off. As I got older and you know, got too old for Santa Claus or rather after my brother ratted it out. That’s the way you say that, no matter what you think. You don’t stop believing in Santa until someone says, you know, those words. The ones that say he isn’t real, there I said it out loud, so yeah you rat out Santa for not being real. All you can say at that point is what the hell, why would you be told something like that after have being told your whole life that he is real? At least your whole life up until that point. Sure you may have had your suspicions but you never voiced them, sure you always wanted to catch Santa in the act of delivering your presents, but you never once believed he couldn’t be real! That is until someone rats him out. It’s usually your older sibling or some friend that is mad at you or is just a down and out meanie face poo poo head. A poo poo headed meanie face if you prefer, which ever you decide I suppose it is all the same. It has been ruined! No more dreams of trying to catch Santa or trying to figure out if he sleeps with his beard under or over, I once even found that answer. Yeah I really did, not going to share it here though, why would I. My brother ratted him out. Sadly Santa was dead to me after that, even though there were until way into my teenage years a present or three on and under the tree from Santa, trying to get back in my good graces I suppose. But, I did not relent, mostly because, oddly Santa’s hand writing looked exactly like my grandmothers. Bless her little pea pickin’ heart.

Now that I am much older I realize, and have for many years now, that while Santa was all about a real person at one time, he still is. Logistical genius that he may be, there are some things that he is better at than even that. That is being believed in, followed, tracked, honored, treated like royalty, magician, burglar, break-in artist, sneaky bastard, milk drinking, cookie eating, chimney coming downer and going upper, mommy kissing, red suit wearing. And that’s another thing, he never wears anything else, ever, who does that. Yeah you’re right I shouldn’t be so hard on him. Seriously though, if there was one thing I could say to make it all better, I probably wouldn’t. Because that fat bastard is everywhere. Yeah I could have left that part out; but, but he really let me down after my brother ratted him out, he just didn’t stop much at my house anymore. Maybe I should be mad at my brother? Okay maybe I am or was or something like that. I don’t know many names that we speak of in this world that bring children to pause and wonder and dream of so often and for so long in human history. Oh sure there are many names that are spoken more often and even loved more by more people but this isn’t about everyone, no this is about the children. We’ve all seen their faces light up when they see him and how excited they are on Christmas morning knowing that he had visited their house. We all know that Santa isn’t about a person, he is about the spirit of Christmas, Christ is the reason, but Santa is the spirit. I will probably get hate for that so take your time and form your argument before you come at me.

In our wisdom the biggest part of Santa …is that … we are all Santa. If none of this makes sense I am sorry … no not really.

So to you my family and friends and family of friends and friends of family, I think I got everyone this time, I give to you Christmas and Santa Claus for good measure. Know that both are safe as long as we hold them in our hearts and minds. Know that neither will be taken from us no matter what anyone is trying to do. We will always be the spirit of Christmas as long as we live, and that will always keep the reason for Christmas alive forever as well. What does this have to do with Virginia? Did I ever say this was about Virginia or would even make sense when I was finished?

I did not.