If it weren’t bad enough, this Mother’s Day is a few days away and I am just now deciding that I need to have a new piece to share. Good luck making my brownie points this year I guess. It isn’t like I have had so many better things to do last month; after all I recycled an old Easter essay and called it good. Couple that with the fact both of my books are out, for better or worse. Then why is it that I have waited until I know that there is a good chance I will not finish in time? Really, maybe you all can help me out with this. It’s not like I don’t know it was coming up, after all I have a mother and I have dated women that are mothers. You would think that I would know the concept of it all, yet here I am with it just seven short days away and I am just getting started. What is it they always say, better late than never? I suppose I could use that defense, but if I don’t finish it what then? I think we should just get down to it and see where it will take us, after all those seven days could go by fast. I know what you’re thinking, yes the title would be great if you sang it to the 1969 tune “WAR” by Norman Whitfield and Barrett Strong.
Mother’s Day as we know it is celebrated in many countries throughout the world and on different days. Hmm, you don’t suppose I could use that as my excuse do you? The old “Gee mom I thought it was in November” or some other such month trick. Yeah, you’re probably right it would never work. Just what and where I should let this piece take me has begun to baffle me and yet I am rambling on. I think I must have run this through my head about nine or ten different ways, all in a matter of an hour. Probably not a very good sign that it will be worthy of a Pulitzer or other type of writing award, I can almost guarantee that with great certainty.
We all know that moms have those special “momisms” that only they can have. Each mom has their own unique twist on these isms. I am not going to go into any of them as I am sure that right now you are running one or two, if not all of them, through your head. In the past I have made a small list of some of the momisms I hear while growing up and put them in a piece just like this one for Mother’s day. I wondered just what my mother was going say about each and every one of them as I typed away, but I didn’t let it stop me. Up until a few days ago you could have seen that essay here but since none of you showed any interest in it I deleted. Now to be fair many of you haven’t had a clue that I actually did this sort of thing until somewhat recently. That doesn’t mean that I will be posting it back up here anytime soon. Yes I know I am rambling on again and I don’t seem to have a point. Well maybe I don’t have one; what’s your point. I think we all know what we want to say to our mother on Mother’s Day. You don’t really need my help in calling your mom or send her flowers or a card on her day do you? Well maybe I need to remind my brother, but that is a whole other issue that I am sure you don’t want me to go into just now.
They say when we are very young we see our mothers as the end all be all in our world, outside of our fathers of course. What she says usually put an end to any discussion or argument you might be having with your siblings, cousins, neighbor kids, quite often overruling you father as well. Dad may be the boss in the family but what mom said was usually the last word on the subject. It is because of this that we tend to find ourselves running to mom whenever there is a problem that you need fixing. Fall off your bike, it’s mom you no doubt ran to with your boo-boo.
We often see our mom as the go to for everything; that is until we begin to develop our own mind and hone our personalities. She of course will rebel against you and claim that it is you who is rebelling against her and her authority. Well okay maybe you are the one rebelling, but that is not the point. You didn’t hear that from me of course. What, no mom it wasn’t me, honest I swear. It couldn’t have been me I was in another part of town that day, must have been those pesky Pokas boys. You know how they were, always getting in trouble doing things they weren’t supposed to do. Now where was I before you interrupted me, oh yeah I remember, I think. This is where all those momisms come in that she has been saving and getting ready to use your whole life. You know the ones I am talking about, the ones that involve guilt trips, yeah those. Yes she has been filing way everything she ever did for you. Just for those times when she was cornered and it looked like she wasn’t going to get her way. That is when she always lets them fly, oh yeah they are her favorite weapon and most used the older you get.
Our teenage years are a struggle in control and we know it all too well. Then again to be fair we, like those teenagers before us thought, know it all. We lived our lives; at least we tried to live our lives as we darn sure wanted to. Maybe yours was sneaking out of the house to party or meet some girl/boy that you weren’t allowed to see. Whatever it was we didn’t care what we were told we were going to do it anyway. It didn’t matter what trouble we would get into either. We knew it all and there was nothing she or anyone else could tell us that would change our minds. This would last nearly, if not all of our teenage years, oh to be young again. As you know eventually all things come to an end. Our teenage years will and do as well, no matter how much we revolt against it. Somewhere through it all your mother has been the constant in your life. Like it or not she has been there through every battle you may have had with her. When the smoke finally clears we find a different kind of mother. A little battle weary and perhaps even a bit worn down by us, but she’s there just the same. As we age we find that she usually did have us in mind when she was grounding us, for whatever reason, even those we thought were unfair or stupid at the time. Yes she is there usually waiting for us to figure it all out on our own, because if you ask her that‘s what she will tell you. Well it’s what she will tell you know or once you get older, but at the time forget it.
I know that someday all those things we did when we were younger will come back to haunt us in some form or another. It especially comes to mind when we begin to have our own children and they begin to do the same things we did or at the very least very similar. The time will come when they begin rebelling against us or is that when we begin to rebel against them. I know it all depends on whose side you’re look at it from. I was reminded recently of one of the best momisms that have ever been used by moms for probably, well for a few millennia anyway. I am sure you know the one, yes that’s right the, “I hope you grow up and have daughters/sons just like you someday, then you’ll see,” one. Yes it’s the fall back mother of them all, the one reason she wants to be grandmother so that she can watch you go through everything you put her through.
One thing for certain when it happens she is going to be the first one to sit back and smile that big cheesy ‘I told you so grin’. That and the ‘pay back’s a bitch’ smile, can’t forget that one. Although I can’t say as if I ever heard that one, I guess there is something good that can be said for losing all of ones memories once or twice. I will leave you here with that and remind you that while yes pay back can indeed be a bitch revenge is best served cold. You can easily remind her just how old she looks, yeah that’s right Grandma!
So to you my friends and family and family of friends, I give to you Mother’s Day in all its glory. Love it hate it or just not want to think of it, but embrace your mother and remind her that you are you because of her. Send her a card, send her flowers or make a phone call, anything to make the old girl happy today will work. I know all my mom is getting is this crappy post for Mother’s Day. Be sure you remind her that through all the fighting and rebelling that she did or you did for that matter, she is still your mother and still the one you want to run to with your boo-boos. As always grab your glass and fill it with your choice of beverage and offer up a toast in her honor and make sure she knows that it’s from the heart.
From The Strange Mind of Me 